Well, I didn’t see this coming.

Just a few weeks ago, it looked like Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton was cruising not just to an easy win, but to a potentially epic one. The polls were bound to tighten, because that’s what they do, but it looked like we were in for a Democratic win nonetheless.

Donald Trump speech

Trump: The next [shudder] president. (Image from the AP)

Myself, I got drunk Tuesday night. Honestly, I started drinking before the polls closed. I was celebrating. Then, the results started to come in, and I stopped drinking. I drink because I enjoy it; not as a coping mechanism. So when things went south, I put up the bourbon and got out the Diet Mountain Dew. Then I went to bed and listened to my phone buzz on my nightstand with more and more bad news.

I didn’t sleep that night. My wife and I lied on our backs in bed, staring into the dark and talking. I hadn’t had a night of sleep like that since my mother died.

What I didn’t believe was how angry people were. I didn’t believe how cruel people were, or blind to the reality of their beliefs. My in-laws were Trump people — a fact my wife struggled to reconcile with knowing her parents as generous and loving people.

There are plenty of other places to read about the why’s of Trump’s victory. And I’ve tried to console my daughter with the promise that everything is going to be OK. I’ve also given money to the ACLU and told my friends that I’m there for them. I’m reading the news — the bad news — to see what may be changing, what I need to watch for and where I need to focus my efforts.

I’m scared. I’m scared and I’m a heterosexual white male with an employer-provided health plan. I can’t imagine what others must be facing. But I’m putting my hope in a resilient republic and hoping too much damage can’t be done and that four years pass quickly.


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